You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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