I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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