There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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