I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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