do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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