I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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