so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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