porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
COCAINE IS GR8
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
