It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I didn't notice because vodka
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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