She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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