I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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