Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
