I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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