Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
