so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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