That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We need to rekindle our bromance
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
