All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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