If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
