I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
