ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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