you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
