Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize