Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize