final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
