Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
