so explain again why im purple
no
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize