I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
