I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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