Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
