They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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