He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
