First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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