did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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