Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
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