hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
