Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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