Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
