i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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