we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
