My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
