Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
