she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
