Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
