Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You ate ashes out of my bong
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
