I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Who died my cat blue again?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
