Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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