is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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