I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
