He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
