I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
