Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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