i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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