I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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