This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have post one night stand depression
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