that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my being single is dangerous.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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