He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
