Whod you bang
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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