is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
