So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
