Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
