so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
