we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Actions speak louder than pants.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
