guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Bring me that man meat
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
