so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
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Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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