so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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