whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
