best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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