is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
