it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
