he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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