do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.