I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You may now shotgun with the bride
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"