my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
