I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
